Tired

Originally posted September 25, 2022 -

Jacob is getting tired.  It feels like it's happening so quickly, but we remind the kids and ourselves that everything is okay.  Jacob is okay, we are okay.  He is shutting down this physical body that he doesn't need anymore and getting ready to move to Heaven.  

Right now Jacob needs medicine every couple of hours to keep him calm and comfortable.  He can tolerate very little in the way of stimulation.  He doesn't want to listen to his favorite movies, he doesn't want to hear his toys, he can't tolerate being held and sometimes will cry out when touched.  He is awake but rarely is he responsive to us -- he will accept sips of juice, suck his pacifier, and that's about it.  It seems like feeds are becoming uncomfortable for him so I have slowed them way down to basically run continuously around the clock.  He is already showing us that his GI system is shutting down, and I know that soon it will be time to talk about stopping feeds completely.  And it's okay.  He's okay.  We're okay.  Fear will not consume me.  It is not welcome in this sacred, holy space.